Such an incident teaches us a good moral. Our society is full of love, warm and peaceful, in which people-from man to woman, from individual to individual-lend others a hand. Just like a famous song goes, the world will turn itto heaven only if everyone contributes a little. and I do believe that its my great honor to live in this love-filled paradise!
东方教育点评:本文切题,论证丰富生动,表达思想清楚,文字通顺,连贯性较好。基本上无大的语言错误,仅有个别小错误。
p.s. 由于一些例文错误较多,点评中只是列举了部分的典型错误,而且为了保持原文面貌,编辑没有做过多的改动,所以欢迎大家一起来挑错,有问题和小水一起讨论。
2003年9月六级考试作文题:
图表作文,关于一个美国大学图书馆的图书流动量(pop fiction, general nonfiction, science, art等),给出他们的流动比例对比,说明原因,并说明你自己喜欢阅读什么样的书。
例1. (2分段)
此分段标准为条理不清,思路紊乱,大部分句子均有严重错误。
(为了不影响市容,给大家造成负面影响,故此处略去100字……)
例2.(5分段)
From the novel, we can see that the students like read(reading) novel, at the same time, only (a) small part of students like read(reading) science and art.
The reason to(for) this is novel is intereting(interesting), students like reading it. Most of the students read too much(many) major books when they have classes, so they want to read some(something) interesting (when) they have time. Novel can let them relax(relaxed). So they choose novel.
I like read(reading) novel, by reading it I know a lot of things, I also relax my brains. So I choose the novel.
东方教育点评:(1)基本切题。
(2)表达思想不清楚,连贯性差。
(3)有较多的严重语言错误。
(4)字数不够,要酌情扣分。
例3.(8分段)