逸予尊洋(来自 221.5.4.*)于 2014-7-20 12:36:18
This July, my family and I went to Guangzhou on vacation together. We took the bus for more than ten hours. We live in my uncle’s home. One day, I went to a bookstore to buy books. When I came out, I realized that I got lost. I rushed to the door of the bookshop.The shopkeepers seemed to understand that I got lost, enthusiastically came over and said to me," Are you lost? Where is your home? I can take you home."I looked at the shopkeeper very touched. I finally got home with the help of him. I said to him," thank you for the help. "The owner said," Don’t mention it. "Then he left.
Today I feel important to help each other between people. I also feel the enthusiasm of the people in Guangzhou.
语法错误较多哦！上面是更改后的文章。。
BOSSA 于 2014-7-20 13:12:00回复如下：
(奖给发言者 5 分)
不错
绝代风华(来自 182.111.85.*)于 2014-7-18 14:00:47
【 We live in my uncle’s house.】我觉得改为【 We live in my uncle’s home.】
【you lost children】迷路应该用get lost,别让人认为你丢了孩子了。
【I rushed to the door at the bookshop.】迷路了你还用冲？我以前迷路时都是留在原地。
【Where is your family?】改为【Where’s your home?】可能更好。
【 my family and I went to guangzhou on vacation together.】要大写首字母。
【thank you for the owner.】要大写首字母。
【 I also felt the guangdong people’s enthusiasm.】不是广州吗？
以上是我这么认为的，可能也有些错误，如果有，请发纸条给我。作文写得很棒！但是，你要注意首字母大写哦！还有，一个段前面不是要空一点吗？你在广州一定玩得很开心吧！师弟，加油哦！
BOSSA 于 2014-7-18 20:00:00回复如下：
(奖给发言者 5 分)
确实有点错，谢点评。
