冰蓝蔻纯(来自 219.236.36.*)于 2009-7-15 14:48:00
拙见~括号里给你改改
My Happily(HAPPY) Day OF(这个OF觉得有点别扭啊…改成DURING呢) The(MY) Winter Holiday
I was the happily(THE HAPPILY改HAPPY) in my winter holiday.In the morning,the sun was shining.I went out with my friends.We(最好在这加一句DECIDED TO) made a snowman.First,we put the(把THE改成SEVERAL) black buttons on its eyes.And(加一个THEN,固定搭配) put a carrot on its nose.Then(改成AT LAST或FINALLY比较符合规律),we put a scarf on its neck.I was so happy and funny(FUNNY修饰I不合适,你是想说BECAUSE THE SNOWMAN WAS FUNNY吗?).
作文投稿箱 于 2009-7-15 14:56:00回复如下:
(奖给发言者 分)
你给我改的第一句话,是题目来的,我改不了的!回答你最后一个问题:是!
老大也~你写大写字母,我看的眼花也~不过还是多谢啦~有心啦~