标题大写
These is the rooms in my house. living room,bathroom,kitchen,bedroom[kitchen和bedroom之间最好用and
Living room is north of the bedroom is south of living room, kitchen is west of living room,最好改为Living room is north of the bedroom,the bedroom is south of living room, kitchen is west of living room,不然会很乱
there is TV, chair, couch, mamp, picture, table, flowes in the living room.开头字母大写,chair和picture要加s ,mamp应是map吧,table和flowers之间加and　
This is the kitchen. the sink, stove, refrigerator, table is in the kitchen.
refrigerator和table之间加and,第二个is改为are
This is the bathroom. the bathtub, shower, toilet, sink,toothbrush, tower in the bathroom.改为This are the bathroom. the bathtub, shower, toilet, sink,toothbrush and tower in the bathroom.
These are bedrooms. the bed, lamp, table, book, closet, door, window, chair is in the bedrooms.因为是这些卧室,所以物品统统变复数

语法错误太多了,加油吧,你姐姐我考试前一天晚上给你看作文啊

写得太不够详细了