父母与子女(parents and kids)
many parents who welcome the idea of turning off tv and spending more time with the family are still worded that without tv they would constantly be on call as entertainers for their children. they remember thinking up all sorts of things to do when they were kids. but their own kids seem different,less resourceful, somewhat.when there's nothing to do,these parents observe regretfully, their kids seem unable to come up with anything to do besides turning on tv.
one father, for example, says,"when i was a kid, we were always thinking up things to do. we certainly never complain in an annoying way to our parents: '1 have nothing to do! ' "he compares this with his own children today:"they're simply lazy. if someone doesn't entertain them, they' ii hap-
pily sit there watching tv all day."
there is one word for this father's disappointment: unfair. he deplores his children' s lack of inventiveness, as if the ability to play were something innate that his children are missing. in fact, while the tendency to play is built into the human species, the actual ability--to imagine, to invent, to
elaborate--and the ability to gain fulfillment from it are skills that have to be learned and developed.
such disappointment, however, is not only unjust, it is also destructive. sensing their parents' disappointment, children come to believe that they are, indeed, lacking something, and that this makes them less worthy of admiration and respect. giving children the opportunity to develop new re-sources, to enlarge their horizons and discover the pleasures of doing things on their own is, on the other hand, a way to help children develop a confident feeling about themselves as capable and interesting people.
父母与子女
许多赞同关掉电视、愿意与家人共度更多时光的父母亲仍旧忧心忡忡；没有了电视，他们得随时做好准备逗自己的孩子开心。他们记得自己小时候想出各种各样的招儿来玩。可是他们自己的孩子似乎变了，不知怎的，缺乏想象力。这些家长不无遗憾地注意到，他们的孩子在无所事事的时候，除了打开电视似乎想不出还有别的什么事可做。
试单一例，一位父亲说：“我小时候，我们总是想出各种各样的招儿来玩。我们绝不会惹父母生气，向他们抱怨：‘我没事可干!”’他将这一点跟今天他自己的孩子作比较：“他们就是懒，如果没有人逗他们玩，他们就心满意足地坐在那里一天到晚看电视。”
对于这位父亲的失望，一言以蔽之：不公平。他对孩子们缺乏想象力痛心疾首，似乎游戏能力是天生的，而他的孩子先天缺乏这种能力。事实上，尽管游戏的能力是人类固有的，但实实在在的游戏能力——想象、创新、精心策划——以及从中获得成就感的能力，都是一些需要后天学习和培养的技能。
这位父亲的失望不仅不公平，而且有害。 当孩子们感受到父母的失望，他们就会逐渐相信他们确实缺少一点什么，因而不配受人赞赏和尊敬。反之，假如给孩子们机会，让他们开动脑筋，开拓视野，发现自已做事的乐趣，这样做就可以帮助孩子们建立起自信心——他们也是有能耐、不乏味的人。