may have landed upwards.by a process of elimination i could have been able to work out what the name waiting on the table was and the whole mission would have to be aborted again.because i`d already done this twice last night and both times i`d had to abort.this morning i found the top of neil`s head with manchester written on the back of it in between my toes.i took it as a sign and left it out of the teabag box list.the photo that neil`s head had come from had been one of the two of us on a tandem during a break to holland.when the photo had been whole you could see enjoyment over neil`s face, whilst my saddle-sore pain couldn`t help but show through.it was one of the many differences i should have realized we had from the start.neil always was an outdoors type of guy, always up for a spot of cycling, hiking or rock-climbing.
i had tried so hard to join in with everything he enjoyed.he had wanted to sample orienteering and i just couldn`t get to grips with that.i had to draw the line somewhere so i told him to go along on his own to join the local group that met every thursday.i encouraged him that it would be good to have something for himself.he did.he had the wife of the instructor.i found an aqua-coloured thong hanging over the lampshade one day when i came in from work.it did not belong to me.i didn`t do thongs.i couldn`t cycle, hike and everything else neil and i seemed to partake in, wearing a thong.so it could only have meant one of two things--neil had at last found himself an indoor pastime, albeit a strange one, or else there was another woman.i left, karen moved in.into a life of greeny-grey holidays.