例4．（11分段）
In 1 April 2003, one of my classmates was get serious cold. First day when he came to school, we found that his eyes were red and his sound was rough. The second day, his cold was too bad that he couldn`t go to school.
At that time, there was a serious ill called SARS in our country. It`s just like badly cold and can infected others easily. But our classmates didn`t go away from him. They seemed more close to him. Our classmates helped him to take back breakfast. Our teacher came to see him with his notes book. He helped him to study in order that he didn`t drop behind my classmates` For he was my best friend, I just sat on his bed and do my best to comfort him.
Althought there was SARS around us, but I felt very warm from this thing. It told me that the love from true heart can help come across any difficult. We are so lucky that we live in a big warmth family. And not very long, my classmate was getting healthy and could come to school again. How happy we were!
东方教育点评：本文切题，表达思想清楚，文字比较连贯, 但有一些语法错误。
具体问题剖析：全文有一些语法、语言错误，如"In 1 April 2003, one of my classmates was get serious cold."应改为"In 1 April 2003,one of my classmates got serious cold."（时态）；"First day when he came to school,"应改为"The first day when he came to school,"（介词遗漏）；"his sound was rough."应改为"his voice was rough."（用词）；"Althought there was SARS around us, I felt very warm from this thing."应把but去掉（连词）； "It told me that the love from true heart can help come across any difficult."应改为"It told me that the love from true heart could help come across any difficulties."（时态、词性错误）；"We are so lucky that we live in a big warmth family."应改为"We are so lucky that we live in a big warm family."（词性）。