I am! Yet what I am none cares or knows,
My friends forsake1 me like a memory lost;
I am the self-consumer of my woes2,
They rise and vanish in oblivious3 host4,
Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;
And yet I am! And live with the shadows tossed5.
Into the nothingness of scorn6 and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life nor joys,
But the vast shipwreck7 of my life's esteems8;
And even the dearest—that I loved the best—
Are strange—nay, rather stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man has never trod9,
A place where woman never smiled or wept;
There to abide10 with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept:
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie,
The grass below—above the vaulted11 sky.
我存在：但无人在乎或知道，
朋友抛弃我，恍如一段忘却的记忆；
我是自我苦痛的消费者，
我的苦痛在潮起潮落中遗忘，
犹如爱的阴影和死的梦呓；
可我存在，终日和影子厮守
颠簸在奚落与嘈杂的虚无之中，
飘摇在半梦半醒的汪洋大海，
既无生的感觉又无活的欢乐，
只剩下生命尊严的茫茫残骸；
甚至最亲密的——我最深爱的朋友——
也形同陌路——比普通人还要陌生。
我向往男人从未涉足的异域，
那里的女人从不微笑或哭泣；
我将和造物主上帝逍遥同在，
像孩提一般甜甜地安睡：
既不扰人也不为人所扰，
身下是青草——仰面对苍穹。
1. forsake v． 抛弃，放弃
2． woe n． 悲痛；悲哀
3． oblivious adj． 遗忘的
4． host n． 大量，众多
5． toss v． 抛，掷
6． scorn n． 轻蔑，嘲笑
7． shipwreck n． 船骸；毁灭
8． esteem n． 尊敬，尊重
9． trod tread 的过去式，踏，行走
10． abide v． 居住；逗留
11． vaulted adj． 拱状的