Even when I saw the notice of my brother Brandon's death in our local paper, I couldn't believe it. It had been 10 days since our mom had gone to wake him for his job at the University computer lab and found him dead, but we still had no idea how it had happened. The empty bottle of pills found near his body lead police to declare his death an overdose1. But I refused to accept that was the case2.
As far as I knew, Brandon had stopped taking drugs long ago.
“I'm not doing that stuff3 anymore,” he told us all last year. “Drugs are stupid.”
It was also clear that he didn't want to die. He'd been working toward a career in computer technology. There was nothing my brother didn't know about computer. He was seven years younger than me, but I always went to him if I had computer trouble. I was glad he'd found a job he loved. He was the youngest and he'd taken our parents' divorce pretty hard4. But he was seeing a therapist5 and we thought he was doing well. I knew I needed answers. But nothing could've prepared me for what I found.
It started one day when I read the condolence6 messages to our family on our local paper's Web site. I noticed that many were from people who said they were Brandon's friends from an Internet site. I did a general Internet search to find the site, then left a message on the bulletin board7, asking anyone who knew Brandon to come forward8. I hoped someone may have known something about him that my family didn't.
Days later, someone e-mailed back. “He wasn't really depressed9,” they said. “He was just showing off10 like he would do many times.” I didn't believe that Brandon logged on11 to the chat room to brag about12 the drugs he was taking.
When the Web site's administrator13 learned about my search, he also e-mailed me, sending the chat room transcripts14 for that tragic15 night. I read, scared, that Brandon had listed the lethal doses of pills he was taking live on his web cam as if it were a sport16. And I was stunned17 to discover that some chat room visitors egged him on18 more pills. Other even joked about him maybe dying!
“Stay on the web cam,” one wrote, “I wanna see if you survive19 or just black out20.”
Showing the transcript to my family was heartbreaking. Aside from21 feeling hurt that Brandon was still taking drug, we were shocked that people seemed to have egged him on to take more.
“That's not much,” one wrote when Brandon told them how many pills he was taking. “Eat more.”
We told the police of the transcript, but they didn't believe chat room users had anything to do with22 his death.
I was amazed that there wasn't an Internet system for people to ask for emergency assistance23. I learned that Brandon had asked chat room buddies24 to look up his domain registration25 if anything happened. But, sadly, because he'd listed a made-up “555” number in his domain, they thought the address listed was fake26 as well. (It wasn't.)
Brandon's death appeared on many newspapers and I got supportive e-mails from teens who'd suffered from taking drug too much. Some agreed that we need safety monitors27 on Web sites. Something's gatta be done, I thought. But what?
I knew I wanted the Internet to be interconnected with a 911 system so that people could contact their local law enforcement if someone needed emergency help28. I also wanted to educate young people about drug-taking.
It was the beginning of a plan for a foundation29 in Brandon's name. I had some ideas on how to get it started because I've done charity work30 before. Besides, I had to do this for Brandon.
I also appeared on TV news shows, the radio and in newspapers. And many drug and Internet organizations agreed to work with me, to help raise awareness31. But nothing can bring Brandon back.
A few of the people who were in the chat room that night e-mailed to say how sad they were about what happened. One said, “It's too weird32 when something on the computer turns out to be a reality33. I wish all this would go away.”
So do I. But for my family, it never will. All we can hope is that Brandon's death will not be in vain34.
1． 此句意为：根据死者身边的空药瓶子，警察宣布他死于吸毒过量。
declare v． 断言，宣称
overdose n． 服药过量
2． 此句意为：但我拒绝接受这一说法。
3． stuff n． [美俚]毒品，麻醉剂
4． 此句意为：他对父母的离婚久久不能释怀。take sth hard 对…耿耿于怀；因…而不快
5． therapist n 治疗师
6． condolence n． 哀悼，吊唁
7． bulletin board 留言板
8． come forward 站出来；（主动）响应
9． depress v． 沮丧，消沉
10． show off 炫耀，卖弄
11． log on 登录
12． brag about 吹牛
13． Web site＇s administrator 网站管理员
administrator n． 管理员
14． chat room transcript 聊天室的纪录
15． tragic adj． 悲惨的，悲剧的
16． 此句意为： 读着聊天室的纪录，我吓了一跳： 在网络摄像机前，布兰顿现场将自己正在服用的致命药片列了个清单，好象炫耀自己很能似的。
lethal adj． 致命的 live [laiv] adv． 在现场地 dose n． 剂量 sport n． [口]炫耀，夸示 cam＝camera
17． stun v． 使晕倒，使惊吓
18． egg sb on ／to do sth 怂恿某人做某事
19． survive v． 幸存
20． black out 昏厥
21． aside from 除…以外
22． have something to do with 与…有点关系
23． emergency n． 紧急情况，非常时刻
assistance n． 援助，帮助
24． buddy n．＜美口＞密友，伙伴
25． domain
registration 域名注册
26． fake [feik] adj． 假的
27． monitor n． 监控器
28． 此句意为：我想把因特网和911报警系统联起来，这样，有人需要紧急救助时，就可以联系当地的执法部门。
enforcement n． 执行，强制
29． foundation n． 基金，基金会
30． charity work 慈善工作
31． awareness n． 意识
32． weird adj． 怪异的，不可思议的
33． turn out to be a reality 变成现实
turn out (to) 结果是
34． in vain 白费，枉然