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The art of gift giving|送礼有道

The Japanese love to give gifts. This habit is not practiced only on special occasions, but it's widely accepted as giri —a social duty and obligation1. Gift-giving is an accepted practice encountered2 everyday, from taking a little something to a neighbor to receiving an extra radish3 from the greengrocer4. If you give someone a gift, you can be sure to receive one in return. And, if you want a gift, you must give one first.
  For the Japanese, gift-giving at its finest is a token5 of appreciation6, and at its worst, a competition. When you return a gift, yours must be better and more expensive. In turn, the gift you will receive will be better and more expensive than the one you gave. The value of the gifts increase successively7.
  Although this may seem extreme8 to Americans, the notion of gift-giving is not alien9 to us. We have all given or received gifts. The Japanese just integrate10 it into a part of their day-to-day life. Because gift-giving is such an important social aspect of Japanese life, it's important to be aware of some key factors. These pointers11 will guide you to know how and when to give and receive gifts.
  Devalue12 the gift you give. The important thing is to act and seem humble.  You don't want the recipient13 to think that you are arrogant or proud. Denigrate14 your gift as much as possible. It doesn't matter if the label on the box bears the symbol for Gucci15. The Japanese value the appearance of a humble gift-giver who tries to shun16 away from praise.
  Praise the gift you receive. Although praising may seem obvious, overpraising the gift is the key. It's also important to praise the fine taste of the gift-giver in making that particular choice for you. And don't forget to give a thousand and one thanks.
  Don't open the gift unless you are urged to do so. And when you do, you must take the utmost care in unwrapping it. Don't look eager, and be careful that you don't tear the paper or cut the ribbon17. After observing, praising, and thanking, be sure to rewrap the gift as if it had never been opened. Try to appear as if you take great pride in the value of the gift. Humility is valued in Japanese society as a virtue18 and even as a norm19.
  Choose perishable20 or edible21 gifts. In general, don't buy things such as ornaments, vases, and kitchenware; it's already assumed that everyone has these things. To do so may imply that you don't approve of22 the other person's taste. Also, most Japanese houses are very small and don't have extra space for useless junk23.
  Offer something perishable or edible. Some suggestions include fruits, smoked salmon24, canned goods, coffee/teas, jars of am, and oils. Though not as common, fine wine or gourmet25 bottled drinks are options26 as well.
  Wrap all gifts attractively.  Wrap anything and everything with good-quality paper along with bows and ribbons. Japanese gift-giving is an art and it should be treated as such.
  You should look out for27 the colors when choosing your ribbons. Red and white are typically used for Valentine's Day, as red and green are for Christmas. Gold and silver are for weddings. Be especially careful with black and white—use those colors only for funerals28. Because the Japanese can be quite picky29 and superstitious30, be aware about the implications31 of certain colors.
  Although Japanese gift-giving may seem a bit strange and too ritualistic32, it is nevertheless a significant aspect of the Japanese societal culture. If you keep these pointers in mind, you'll be sure to impress any Japanese. Whether it be for business or pleasure, you will successfully escape their stereotypical33 misconception34 of the baka-gaijin (stupid foreigner).


日本人特别爱送礼。不只是特殊场合才送礼,很多日本人已经把送礼看作一种社会责任和义务。送礼成了人们日常生活中习以为常的事情,比如送点小东西给邻居或者接受蔬菜商多给的一个萝卜。若投之以桃,别人就会报之以李。若想收到礼物,必须先送人礼物。
  对日本人而言,送礼从好的方面说是表达谢意,从坏的方面看是一种竞争。还人家的礼,必须比人家送的更好更贵。同样,你收到的礼物会比你送人的礼物更好更贵。你来我往的结果是礼物的价值越来越高。
  这种礼仪在美国人看来显得很过激,但是送礼的观念对于我们并不陌生,我们都有这种经历。日本人不过是把送礼化为日常生活的一部分而已。既然送礼是日本人社交生活的一件大事,很有必要了解一下其中的讲究。下面这些点子将帮助你了解送礼受礼的方法和时机。
  谈及你的礼物要自谦。送礼时言行举止一定要谦恭,不要让受礼人觉得你傲慢无礼。言及自己的礼物要尽量自谦,就算礼品盒上有古奇标志也无妨。日本人看重的就是送礼人对赞美退避三舍的谦恭态度。
  赞美你收到的礼物。赞美人家送你的礼物好像谁都知道,但关键是要懂得夸张之道。另外,夸奖送礼人挑选礼物有品位、目光独到也很重要。再者,别忘了对人家千恩万谢。
  不要打开礼物,除非人家催促你打开。真要打开的话,千万要小心。神情不要太急切,当心别把包装纸撕破或者把丝带弄断。看完礼物、赞美、谢过送礼人之后,一定要把礼物重新包好,保持原样。言谈举止间要尽量表现出你对收到这样一件贵重礼品感到非常荣幸。谦恭在日本被视为一种美德甚至行为规范。
  选购不宜久放或可食用的礼品。一般不要买装饰品、花瓶、厨房用品这样的东西。这些东西人人都有。如果你买这些东西送人,可能暗示你不赞同对方的品味。此外,日本人大多房子很小,没有多余的地方存放无用的东西。
  赠送不宜久放或可食用的礼品。比方说水果、熏鲑鱼、听装食品、咖啡或茶叶、果酱和食用油。另外,好酒或精美的瓶装饮料也可送人,尽管这些不是常见的礼品。
  礼品无论大小,都要包装精美。不管你送什么,都要用优质包装纸配上蝴蝶结、丝带包装好。日本人送礼是门艺术,礼品包装理应如此。
  挑选丝带要注意颜色。情人节一般用红色和白色,就象圣诞节一般用红色和绿色。结婚选金色和银色。选黑色和白色要特别当心——葬礼才用这种颜色。日本人有时非常挑剔和迷信,所以挑选丝带要知道某些颜色的含义。
  尽管日本人送礼可能显得有点奇怪而且过于仪式化,但这的确是日本社会文化的一个重要方面。若能记住上述要点,一定能给日本人留下美好的印象。这样无论在日本是公干还是旅游,你都可以避免日本人对你抱有“傻老外”的成见了。

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1. obligation  n. 义务
2. encounter vt. 遭遇,碰到
3. radish n. 萝卜
4. greengrocer  n. 蔬菜商

5. token  n. 标志
6. appreciation  n. 感激
7. successively  adv. 接连地,依次地
8. extreme  adj. 极端的
9. alien adj. 陌生的,异己的
10. integrate  vt. 使合并
11. pointer n. 点子;线索
12. devalue  vt. 贬低
13. recipient n. 接受者
14. denigrate  vt. 贬低;诽谤
15. Gucci 古奇(世界著名品牌)

16. shun  vt. 回避,躲避
17. ribbon  n. 丝带
18. virtue  n. 美德
19. norm  n. 规范
20. perishable  adj. 易腐败的,易消亡的
21. edible  adj. 能吃的
22. approve of  赞成;称许
23. junk  n. 废品
24. salmon  鲑鱼