Imagine you got a puppy1 for your birthday. You care so much about this puppy. You watch it all the time.You panic2 when you can't find it. You are forever worrying about this little ball of fluff3 and saying things like...
“Where have you been?”
“Where are you going?”
“Be careful!”
“Don't do that!”
You love it! You worry about what it eats. You worry when it is sick. You want to protect it. You try to teach it things that it doesn't want to learn!
Meanwhile, the puppy is thinking, “I'm dealing with a control freak4!”
Have you noticed that parents treat you the way you would treat the puppy?
They are forever saying...
“Where have you been?”
“Where are you going?”
“Be careful!”
“Don't do that!”
They panic when they can't find you. They worry about what you eat. They worry when you are sick. They want to protect you. They try to teach you things—that you don't want to learn.
Meanwhile you're thinking, “I'm dealing with a couple of control freaks!”
Parents can be irritating5. But it's usually because they care so much. Sometimes it helps to remember that they act so crazy because they care about you.
In a nutshell6
Next time your parents are telling you what to do, think about you and the puppy. Maybe you'll understand your parents a bit better.
One More Reason Parents Act So Crazy．．．
What are the main things you have to worry about? Probable the list comes down to:
◆Good grades in school
◆Friends and boyfriends／girlfriends
◆Your hobbies and sport
◆Getting enough cash from your parents
That list probably keeps you fairly busy.
Parents also have things to worry about. Their list—and this is all boring stuff—might include:
◆Keeping their jobs
◆Delivering the family to music lessons, soccer practice, ballet7, etc．
◆Monthly car payments, car repairs, car insurance, petrol bills
◆Monthly house payments, house repairs, house insurance
◆Bills for gas, water, telephone, electricity, cable TV
◆Caring for their parents
◆Buying new furniture, computers, printers, software
◆School fees for all the kids
◆Clothes for the whole family
◆Everybody＇s health insurance, medical bills, hospital bills, veterinary8 bills
◆Christmas／birthday presents for a few dozen family and friends every year
◆Feeding you, your brothers and sisters and the dog．
(We could add another 100 things to this list.)
Now here's what happens. Dad is sitting in his study thinking about this list. Meanwhile he's wondering how he's ever going to pay off his $10,000 Visa9 card debt and his $15,000 Mastercard10 debt.
You walk into his room and say, “Dad, can I have a new mountain bike?” (Just a simple question.) Dad goes bananas11! He turns red in the face and he's frothing12 at the mouth. He's shouting, “Do you think I'm made of money? What's the matter with the bike you have now? I never had a mountain bike...!”
Dazed13, you stagger14 to the kitchen, to escape the onslaught15. You ask yourself, “Why is he acting like a lunatic16?”
Remember the “parents' list” and you might understand. Parents have a lot of things to worry about! That's why they act so crazy!
In a nutshell
None of us is perfect. Why do we expect our parents to be perfect?
And if you ever wonder, “How come my parents are so boring?” it's keeping up with this list that makes them boring!
Say, “Thank you!”
Parents can be unreasonable, demanding, impossible to please and old fashioned. Maybe you figure it's just too hard to have a good relationship with your parents.
But in case you would like to try and improve things, here is something to remember:
More than anything, parents just want to hear their kids say, “Thank you”.
Now you may argue that your parents decided to have you, so it's their problem to feed you, pay the bills and do all the stuff that parents do.
Whether this is right or wrong, most parents get frustrated and angry that their teenagers take it all and rarely say, “Thank you.” For the last 10,000 years parents have been asking themselves, “How come my kids are so ungrateful? If only they would say, “Thank you!”
Parents of thirty-year-olds tell me, “I'm always helping my children out. I give them money, cook meals, baby-sit17 the grandkids—and they seem to expect it. They never say, 'Thanks'.”
So how do you blow your parents' minds18? Next time your Dad delivers you to basketball training, tell him, “Thanks Dad, I know you're a busy guy and you have a lot of other stuff to do.” He'll be delighted. He'll be amazed and inside he will say, “It's all worth it!”
Whenever your mother, father, stepmother, stepfather cooks a beautiful meal, tell them, “That was a great dinner. Thank you.”
Of course, you can argue that it is their job to serve you. You can also argue that they should start to thank you before you thank them. But now you know what's in their heads.
In a nutshell
If you want to get closer to your parents, try saying a few extra “Thank yours” —and tell them why you appreciate it. You'll light up their lives.
试想你生日有人送你一只小狗。你非常非常喜欢这只小狗，每分每秒都看着它，看不到就惊恐不安。你随时都在担心这个小毛球，嘴上不停地说……
“你去哪儿了？”
“你要去哪儿？”
“当心！”
“别这样做！”
你爱它！它吃什么你担心，它病了你也担心。你想保护它。你要教它一些它不想学的东西！
同时，小狗想：“我怎么就碰上这么个爱发号施令的主儿？！”
你注意到没有，父母对你就象你对小狗一样？
他们永远都在说……
“你去哪儿了？”
“你要去哪儿？”
“当心！”
“别这样做！”
他们找不到你就惊恐不安。你吃什么他们担心，你病了他们也操心。他们想保护你。他们要教你一些东西，一些你不想学的东西。
同时，你在想：“我怎么就碰上这两个爱发号施令的主儿？！”
父母会惹你心烦，但这通常是因为他们太关心你了。父母表现那么疯狂是因为他们爱你，有时候想想这一点你会更理解他们。
简言之
下一次父母再让你做什么的时候，想想你和小狗。也许你会对他们多一分理解。
父母疯狂的另一个理由
哪些事是你最担心的？列个清单的话很可能包括以下几点：
*学习成绩好
*朋友和男友/女友
*爱好和运动
*向父母要到够你花的钱
这份清单很可能就够你忙的。
父母也有烦心事。要开个清单——清单上的东西都很枯燥——可能包括：
*保住工作
*送孩子学音乐，练足球，跳芭蕾等等
*每月分期支付购车款、汽车维修费、汽车保险费、汽油费
*每月分期支付购房款、房屋维修费、房屋保险费
*煤气费、水费、电话费、电费、有线电视费帐单
*照顾他们的父母
*购买新家具、电脑、打印机、软件
*所有子女的学费
*全家的服装费
*大家的健康保险、医疗费、住院费、宠物治疗费
*每年给几十位亲友买圣诞礼物和生日礼物
*养你、你的兄弟姐妹还有小狗
（还可以再加它个一百条。）
请看事情的经过。爸爸坐在书房考虑这份清单，正不知如何偿还威信卡透支的1万元和万事达卡透支的1.5万元。
你走进书房说：“爸，能给我买一辆新山地车吗？”（就这么个简单的问题）。爸爸顿时火冒三丈！只见他脸也红了，嘴角唾沫飞溅，高声叫道：“你以为我是钱做的？你现在这辆车又怎么了？我小时侯可从没买过山地车呀！……”
你一下子懵了，跌跌撞撞地来到厨房，免得又挨爸爸的训。你心想：他怎么像疯子一样？
想想“父母清单”你可能就会明白。父母要操心的事太多了，所以他们才会那么疯狂！
简言之
人无完人。为什么指望父母是完人呢？
如果你想知道，“我爸爸妈妈怎么这么没意思？”答案是，他们之所以这样，是疲于应付那份清单！
道谢
父母可能不讲道理，要求太高，难得伺候，观念陈旧。也许你觉得要跟他们处好关系实在太难了。
不过假如你愿意设法改善现状，请记住一点：
父母不指望儿女为自己做什么，只想听他们说声“谢谢！”
你也许会说，既然父母决定生你，那他们就应该养活你，支付各种各样的帐单，做所有父母做的事。
无论这种观点是对是错，大部分父母都感到很沮丧，很气愤：孩子十多岁了，吃父母的，喝父母的，用父母的，却很少向父母道谢。一万年来，父母一直在问自己：“我的孩子怎么这么不知好歹？他们要是说声‘谢谢’该多好！”
子女已经30多岁的父母对我说：“我总在帮孩子。给他们钱，为他们做饭、带孙子——他们好像就指望你做这些事，从不说声谢谢。”
那怎么逗你父母开心呢？下次爸爸送你去打篮球，你就说：“谢谢爸爸，我知道你很忙，有好多别的事要做。”他会很高兴。他会很惊讶，心里说：再累也值得！
母亲、父亲、继母、继父给你做了一顿美餐，你就说：“这顿饭真好吃。谢谢。”
当然，你可以说他们供养你是应该的。你也可以说他们应该先向你道谢，然后你再向他们道谢。不过，现在你知道他们是怎么想的吧？
简言之
想亲近父母就多说几句“谢谢”，告诉他们你为什么感谢他们。这样他们的生活会充满阳光。
1． puppy n． 小狗
2． panic v． 惊恐
3． fluff n． 绒毛
4． freak n． 怪物；痴迷者
5． irritating adj． 使烦心／生气的
6． in a nutshell 简言之
7． ballet n． 芭蕾
8． veterinary adj． 兽医的
9． Visa n． 威信卡
10． Mastercard 万事达卡
11． go bananas （俚）发狂
12． froth v． 口吐白沫
13． dazed [deizd] adj． 使发昏、发呆
14． stagger vi． 摇晃
15． onslaught n． 攻击
16． lunatic n． 疯子
17． baby－sit v． 带（孩子）
18． blow one＇s mind 使极度兴奋