It ruins1 reputations2 and destroys friendships. So what can you do about it?
流言蜚语有损名誉,破坏友谊。面对流言，你怎么办？
I remember it like it was yesterday. The stomach was sick, I fought to hold back3 the tears and I felt the unbelievable hurt in my heart.
“You know, Autumn,” my friend Nick said, “Lisa and Andrea were just talking about you”. I immediately got nervous.“ They said that the only reason you start on the basketball team is because the coach4 likes you. It's not because you're good.”I thought I might be sick5.“ They said they're tired of6 you always getting what you want. You don't deserve7 it.”
It was all I could do to hold back the tears as I sank to my knees8 on the cold floor. As Nick continued to tell me everything my supposed best friends said about me, I was hurt. My mind raced9. I knew I didn't deserve this. But that didn't make it any easier.
Lisa and Andrea came in from lunch break10 acting like nothing had happened. Lisa was still my locker mate11, Andrea my partner on a history project. I was amazed at their ability to pretend we had the perfect friendship. Especially since they'd said such hurtful things.
I was a freshman in high school—and I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world.
All because of gossip.
Life tells us the tongue is our worst enemy. The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It destroys the whole person. Gossip is even included in the Bible among the sins of murder, envy, greed, deceit12 and malice13. “Those who do such things deserve death.”
So why do people hate gossip?
A gossip harms confidence and separates close friends. The words of a gossip are like sharp knives, which cut one's dignity14 into pieces. When we say bad words about others, we're forcing emotional pain on them. Instead of punching them on the nose15, we're shooting daggers into their heart16.
So, what should we do when we encounter17 gossip? There are three possible answers.
1． Speak out18. Kindly but firmly tell your friends gossip is hurtful and that no one benefits from19 it.
2． Be positive20. Turn the conversation around by saying something nice about the person being talked about.
3． Walk away. Don't be part of the problem by sticking around21 to listen.
You've probably heard gossip everywhere—at school, in the streets, on the Net.
Unfortunately, we've all been ashamed of gossip at one time or another—intentional or not. And we've all suffered from it too. But how should we act when we discover a trusted friend has been saying unkind things about us? Yes, it hurts, but we have hope. You can do several things.
1．Forgive. You can only do this and you need to—no matter how difficult it is. Forgive your friend first in your heart. Ask for guidance22 and help from families or close friends if necessary.
2． Face it. When your emotions23 are under control, tell the person or people who hurt you how their words made you feel. (If necessary, practice what you'd like to say beforehand. If you think you might lose your cool, express your feelings in a note or e-mail.) Then tell them you forgive them. Hopefully, this will help you move on with your friendship.
So what happened with Lisa and Andrea?
When they pretended our friendship hadn't changed, I would have planned to attack them back. But I took a step back. I told them they had hurt me. Lisa started crying; Andrea didn't know what to say. I knew they were both sorry for what they had said. They apologized, and I forgave them with grace24. Sure, things were a little tense at first, but after a while everything was back to the way it was before.
I still deal with gossip, whether it be as a recipient25 or a participant26. But the more I learn about love, the more I realize the importance of encouraging others—and that never includes gossip.
我记得这一切就如同发生在昨天。我无比愤怒，但拼命克制着泪水，心里感受到难以置信的伤痛。
“你瞧，奥特姆”，朋友尼克告诉我：“丽莎和安祖刚才还在议论你。”我立刻紧张起来。“她们说你进篮球队的惟一原因不过是教练喜欢你罢了，并不是因为你球打得出色。”我感觉当时很恼火。“她们说讨厌你总能得到自己想要的一切，还说你根本不配。”
我只能强忍住眼泪，双膝软瘫在冰凉的地板上。尼克继续向我讲述我自以为是最好的朋友对我的种种谣言时，我特受伤。我的脑子转得飞快。我知道我不该受到这样的编排。但这并没让我感觉好多少。
丽莎和安祖吃完中饭回来，言行感觉好像什么都没有发生。丽莎仍然和我共用一个储物柜，安祖还是我历史课的搭档。她们装作是我最好的朋友，这种能力着实叫我吃惊，尤其是说了这么多伤人的话之后。
当时我是高中一年级新生——感觉就像这个世界上我没有一个朋友。
这一切全都是因为流言蜚语。
生活告诉我们，无事生非是我们最大的敌人。舌头引火烧身，是我们身体各部位中最邪恶的器官。它会将一个完整的人彻底毁掉。《圣经》甚至把流言蜚语同谋杀、嫉妒、贪婪、欺骗和怨恨一起归结为罪恶。“凡有以上行径者，该当一死”。
人们为何讨厌流言蜚语呢？
流言蜚语伤害人的自信，离间亲密朋友。流言蜚语又好比利刃，它将人的尊严撕成碎片。当我们对他人洒泼污水之时，实际上是在把感情痛苦强加于人。我们不是抡起拳头砸向他们的鼻梁，而是抄起匕首捅向他们的心窝。
有鉴于此，遭遇流言蜚语时，我们应该怎么办？以下为三条可行的办法：
1． 直言相告。友善而肯定地告诉朋友谣言伤人，没有人会从中受益。
2． 态度肯定。对被非议者说些肯定意见，从而扭转话锋。
3． 断然走开。不要逗留听信流言蜚语，从而成为它的帮凶。
很可能到处都可以听到流言蜚语——学校、街道甚至网上。
不幸的是，曾几何时，我们都有过传播流言蜚语的不耻行为——或是有意或是无意。我们也曾深受其害。但是，当我们发现一个自己所信赖的朋友对我们恶语中伤时该怎么办？的确，流言伤心，但也不是没有希望。你就可以试试以下招数：
1． 学会宽恕。你只能这样做也必须这样做——不管做起来多难。首先，要（学会）从内心宽恕你的朋友。必要时请家人或好友指点、帮忙。
2． 勇于面对。当你的理智尚能控制感情时，告诉这些伤害你的人那些话听起来是什么感觉。（如有必要，不妨事先“彩排”你想说的话。如果觉得有失冷静，可用便条或e-mail表达你的感受。）然后告诉他们，你原谅了他们。这一招很有希望帮助你们（抛弃前嫌）重续友谊。
知道丽莎和安祖怎么样了吗？
她们假装我们的友谊依旧时，我本打算以其人之道进行反击。但我退了一步。我正告她们伤害了我。丽莎开始哭起来；安祖不知说什么好。我知道她们俩对此很抱歉。她们道歉了，我也大度地原谅了她们。当然，起先气氛有些紧张，但过了一段时间，一切又回到了从前。
我仍然在与流言蜚语打交道，或者是它的受害者，或者是它的帮凶。但是，我越是懂得爱，就越能意识到鼓励他人的重要——这其中决不包括流言蜚语。
1． ruin [?謖ru?蘼in] v． 损害
2． reputation [repju?蘼?謖tei?蘩?藜n] n． 声誉，名誉
3． hold back 克制
4． coach [k?藜ut?蘩] n． 教练
5． sick [sik] adj． 恼火，憎恶
6． be tired of 讨厌
7． deserve v． 值得，应得
8． sink to one＇s knees 双膝瘫倒在地
9． race [reis] v． 高速运转
10． lunch break 午饭休息时间
11． locker mate 共用储物柜的伙伴
12． deceit n． 欺骗
13． malice n． 怨恨，敌意
14． dignity n． 尊严
15． punch sb． on the nose 砸在……的鼻梁上
16． shoot daggers into one＇s heart 将匕首捅向……的心窝
17． encounter v． 遭遇
18． speak out 大胆明确地说出
19． benefit from 从中受益
20． positive adj． 肯定的
21． stick around 在某处，在附近
22． guidance n． 指导，引导
23． emotion n． 情感
24． with grace [greis] 欣然地
25． recipient n． 接受者
26． participant n． 参与者