Boys can seem like totally unimaginable alien creatures1 that are difficult to understand and even harder to get to know. Some girls think of boys as the enemy—the kind that chases them at recess2, teases3 them at the bus stop, or cuts ahead of them in the lunch line. But, if girls are lucky, they might even count boys among their friends.
“I do have some friends who are boys. I can talk to them and ask them things and they can do the same with me. I like this because then I can see a different point of view from a different gender4. I have always wanted to have a boy friend who I can tell secrets to and I'd be able to trust him. But I don't think I'd want to go out with him,” says Christine.
Are boys and girls different? Duh! Of course they are. There are many physical differences between boys and girls, as well as differences at the rate5 and ways their bodies and minds grow and change. For example, you may have noticed that girls tend to mature6 faster than boys. The girls you know probably learned to read earlier and mastered math concepts7 sooner than your boy classmates. Maybe right now there are quite a few girls in your class that tower over the boys. These differences are a result of the natural way our bodies and brains grow.
But there are other, less visible8 ways that boys and girls differ. These differences are not so much because of the way boys and girls are born, but the way the world treats each sex and what it expects of them.
If you＇re a girl, you may have noticed that making friends and being friends with a boy is different than being friends with a girl．
Have you ever wondered why? Experts who are looking at the ways boys and girls develop and grow up now believe that both girl and boy babies come into the world wanting the same thing: relationships. For example, both boys and girls are born with an intense strong desire to connect with their mothers, and the other people around them. But at about age four or five, boys begin to get sidetracked9. They start getting the message from movies, TV, video games, and other influences that to be a strong boy—one that's going to grow to be a stronger man—their relationships are not as important as being independent and aggressive10. Have you ever noticed the way some boys show off? Like to be in charge? Won't admit to feeling weak? With boys, it's important to remember that what you see on the outside does not always match with what they're feeling on the inside.
The researchers who study the way boys and girls grow up think that many of the differences we see between boys and girls reflect11 the differences in the ways we are brought up, not in our biology. Those very real—although learned—differences, though, make us curious about each other. Most girls really do want to get to know boys better. (And vice versa12, too!)
And there's so much to understand about one another! At recess, for example, during a basketball game between boys and girls, Christine has watched how the boys don't really pass to each other—they'd rather make the basket and get the glory for themselves!
“Usually we play boys against the girls. Then we don't have to pick teams and no one will be picked last. That wouldn't be fair. The boys say, 'Let's pick teams.' But the girls say, 'Let's not.' Sometimes on my soccer team we'll scrimmage13 boys the same age group as the girls, but not in the same division. They always try and show off in front of the girls, trying to do a good move, and they mess up14. They try to score goals, kick it as hard as they can, they don't really play well together. They're trying to be the best and show off, so the girls win. Last year we always used to scrimmage with the boys and we never lost to them. We'd usually win or tie...we have to shake hands afterward and sometimes the boys would try to slap15 your hand really hard,” explains Christine.
The most common place for girls and boys to have contact, of course, is in school. Let's face it, unless you go to an all girls' or all boys' school, most girls and boys are stuck in classrooms together for six hours a day. Often, they have no choice but to get to know each other.
从表面看，男孩可能像外星生物一样不可捉摸，相知就更难了。有些女孩子甚至视男孩为敌：在课间休息时男孩会疯追她们；在公汽站男孩会欺负她们；排队就餐时男孩会“闪”在她们前面。但是，如果幸运的话，女孩会体会到：男孩真能做朋友。
“我朋友圈子里就有男孩。我可以跟他们说会儿话，找他们问问题，他们也可以这么做。我喜欢这么做，因为我可以从异性的角度全新地看问题。我一直想找个男孩子做朋友，可以跟他推心置腹，他能赢得我的信任。至于约会，我可没想过。”——克里丝汀是这么说的。
男孩和女孩，就是不一样吗？当然啦！男孩和女孩，他们的生理结构差异极大，他们的生理和心理成长、变化的速度也有天壤之别。例如——可能你也注意到了——女孩子要比男孩子成熟得快。你所认识的女孩子，识字很可能比男孩子早，领悟数学概念时也比班上的男同学领先一步。或许就在此时此刻，你们班上就有不少女孩子令男孩自愧不如呢。这些差异是我们生理和大脑自然发育的结果。
男孩女孩还有其他差异，而这些差异不那么显眼。这种差异与其说是与生俱来的，还不如说是人们对性别的观念不同、期望不同造成的。
倘若你是女孩子，也许你早就注意到了——与男孩子交朋友、做朋友，绝对不同于跟女孩子做朋友。
你想过没有：为啥不同？一直观察男孩和女孩成长、发育的专家认为，男孩女孩来到这世上，需求是相同的——（与世界建立）各种交往。譬如，男孩也好，女孩也罢，出生时都有一种强烈的欲望：要同母亲交流，要与周围所有的人交流。但是大约四五岁时，男孩（女孩）走上了不同的道路。男孩开始从电影、电视、电视游戏以及其他渠道获得这样一种信息：先要做男孩中的强者，长大再做男子汉。这个阶段对他们来说，与社会联系的要求已经让位于独立自主、争强好胜了。你们女孩子一定留意到了——男孩爱出风头：他们喜欢发号施令，决不示弱服输。跟男孩子在一起，你们女孩子要记住：你所看到的男孩子外表，未必跟他们内心的真实感受是一致的。
研究男孩女孩成长方式的学者认为，男孩女孩所表现出来的差异，反映了我们所受教育方式的不同，并非生理上的差异。这些实实在在的、通过后天习得而产生的差异，反而使我们相互好奇。绝大多数女孩子真的很想更好地了解男孩子，真的。（反之亦然！）
相互之间需要了解的东西，实在太多了！例如，男孩女孩课间休息打篮球时，克里丝汀就注意到：男孩子没想过要正儿八经地传球，他们就想自己扣篮得分，为自己赚几声喝彩！
“一般说来，我们让男孩跟女孩对垒。这样我们就不用为组队而烦心，就不会有谁被选掉了。应当说这是不公平的。男孩子爱说：‘咱们组队吧’；可女孩子则说：‘不干’。踢足球时，我们有时按年龄分组，但不是把男孩女孩分在同一组。男孩子就想在女孩面前卖酷，总想露一手，结果踢得一塌糊涂。他们就想进球，使出浑身力气射门，男队踢得不咋的。他们只想出风头，只想卖弄自己，所以获胜的反而是女孩子。去年我们老跟男孩较劲，而咱们女孩子从未输过。咱们要么赢，要么打平……赛完后只好握握手，有时候男孩子会一巴掌狠狠地‘拍’在咱们手上。”克里丝汀如是说。
男孩女孩接触最频繁的场所，当然就是学校啦。咱们得面对现实，除非你上的是女子学校或男子学校——否则，男孩女孩每天得在同一间教室里相处6小时！一般说来，男孩女孩除了慢慢地相互了解，还能咋整？
1. alien [?謖eili?藜n] adj． 怪异的
creature [?謖kri?蘼t?蘩?藜] n． 生物
2． chase [t?蘩eis] v． 追赶
recess [ri?謖ses] n． 休息
3． tease [ti?蘼z] v． 嘲弄
4． gender [?謖d?廾end?藜] n． 性别
5． rate[reit] n． 速度
6． mature [m?藜?謖tju?藜] v． 成熟
7． concept [?謖k?蘅nsept] n． 概念
8． visible [?謖vizibl] adj． 可看见的
9． sidetrack [?謖saidtr?覸k] v． 走支路
10．aggressive [?謖?藜gresiv] adj． 进攻性的
11．reflect [ri?謖flekt] v． 反映
12．vice versa [?謖vaisi ?謖v?藜?蘼s?藜] 反之亦然
13．scrimmage [?謖skrimid?廾] v． 混战
14．mess up把……弄得一团糟
15．slap [sl?覸p] v．掴，拍