What a powerful influence they can have on your attitude1, reputation2, and direction! The need to be accepted and be part of a group is powerful. But too often we choose our friends based on whoever will accept us. And that's not always good. For example, to be accepted by the kids who do drugs, all you have to do is do drugs yourself.
It's hard, but sometimes it is better to have no friends for a time than to have the wrong friends. The wrong group can lead you down all kinds of paths you really don't want to be on. And retracing3 your steps can be a long and hard journey. I have a close friend who fortunately had enough common sense to drop his old friends for some new ones, and he shared the following:
The summer before my senior year, I had a really good friend named Jack. The month before school started, he went to Europe and to my surprise came back with a powerful drug called hashish4. Neither of us had ever experimented with drugs before. He began to invite me to join him in using this drug with a group of his ″new″ friends. He also started the ″24 club,″ where you would sit in a circle and drink twenty-four tall bottles of beer, one after another, until they were gone. I knew there was no future in any of it and that eventually5 he would self-destruct if he continued using these drugs. However, he had been my best friend since grade school, and I didn't have a lot of other close friends. I didn't want to be a loner, but I also didn't want to end up where I thought Jack was going.
I remember finally deciding (sadly) that it was just too risky to hang out with him anymore. And so my senior year I had to start over making friends. At first I felt awkward6, didn't fit in, and felt dumb7 being alone. But after a few months I made friends with guys who had similar values and were also a lot of fun.
My old friend Jack turned into a druggie8, barely graduated, and eventually drowned9 in a swimming pool while intoxicated10. It was very sad, but I was grateful I had the guts11 to stick with12 the right decision and think long-term at a crucial13 time in my life.
If you're having trouble making good friends, remember that your friends don't always have to be your age. I once spoke to a guy who seemed to have very few friends at school, but he did have a grandpa who listened to him and was a great friend. This seemed to fill the friendship void14 he had in his life. The long and short of it15 is, just be wise when choosing friends, because much of your future hangs on16 who you hang out with.
朋友对你的态度、名声、甚至人生方向都会产生巨大的影响!希望为人接受、从而成为团体一分子,这种需求是何等的强烈!但是,我们十有八九都是谁接受我们就跟谁做朋友——这并不总是什么好事。例如,要想跟吸毒的孩子做铁哥们,你就必须吸毒。
虽然做起来很难。但是,有时候,与其结交不良朋友,还不如不交朋友。不良朋友很可能引导你走上一条其实你绝对不想走的路。一旦你走上这条路,再想顺原路返回,那必定是一段艰难而且漫长的历程。我有位好朋友,值得庆幸啊——他明智地与老朋友们断交,交上了新朋友。以下是他讲的故事:
在读高三前的那个夏天,我曾经有一位好朋友,名叫杰克,我们很铁。开学前那个月,他去了一趟欧洲。令人我惊讶的是,他回来时带回一种很有劲的毒品——印度大麻。我们俩以前都没尝过毒品。 他开始邀请我和他那帮“新哥们”一起吸毒。他还搞了个“24瓶俱乐部”——也就是大家围成一圈坐着,一个接一个,轮流喝,直到把24瓶啤酒干光。我知道这么做没什么好结果;要是他继续吸毒,必定会毁灭自己。但是,打小学起他就一直是我最要好的朋友,再说当时我也没有太多的铁哥们。我不想成为孤家寡人,但是我也不想栽倒在杰克自取灭亡的地方。
我记得自己得出一个(伤心的)结论:再跟他混下去实在太危险了。因此在高中最后一年里,我不得不重新开始交朋友。起初我感到很尴尬,感到不合群,孤零零的像个傻子。但是,过了几个月,我就交上了一些朋友,他们价值观跟我差不多,也挺有意思。
我原先的朋友杰克吸毒喝酒成瘾,勉勉强强毕了业,但最后因为醉酒而淹死在游泳池里。 这事令人伤心。我庆幸自己鼓起勇气做出了正确的抉择,在关键时刻能想到长远。
如果交友有困难,请记住,朋友不一定是年龄相当的人。我曾经跟一个小家伙谈过话——他在学校里好像没什么朋友,但是他家里却有一个好朋友——就是他的爷爷。他的爷爷是个好听众,是他真正的朋友。这就填补了他生活中友谊的欠缺。总而言之,择友宜慎,因为你的未来在很大程度上取决于你结交什么样的朋友。
1. attitude n. 态度
2. reputation n. 名誉,名声
3. retrace v. 折回
4. hashish n. 印度麻药
5. eventually adv. 最后,终于
6. awkward adj. 尴尬的
7. dumb n. (俚)笨蛋
8. druggie n. 瘾君子
9. drown [draun] v. 溺死
10. intoxicated adj. 喝醉的
11. guts n. (口)勇气与决心
12. stick with (口)坚持做某事
13. crucial adj. 至关紧要的
14. void n. 空白,空间
15. the long and short of 总而言之
16. hang on 依赖