Conversation between Executioner2 and Wife
“I'm fed up with3 life. I give up. I can't stand it any longer.”
“But, sweetheart4, is it my fault that business has been bad lately? What can I do? After all, I can't just grab5 a man and hang him by force. I mean, the judges have simply become stingy6. But I hope to get a job soon. One day things will open up7.”
“Will I live to see that day? Last year it wasn't this bad. At least the children had something to eat. But they can't eat the memory of last year.”
“Please don't cry, sweetheart, you break my heart. If I could, I'd hang people day and night. I have trouble sleeping nights without a job. Am I a lazy man?”
“Do something. Work!”
“Don't I want to work, sweetheart? But if the courts don't hand down8 the death penalty9, I can't hang anyone. I get paid for piece work10, not on a monthly wage. When I don't stretch11 any necks they don't pay me.
“Please don't cry, sweetheart. I'm not trying to avoid doing my job. I'd hang someone every day so my family could be comfortable. Be patient a little longer. Grit12 your teeth. We'll get a lucky break13 soon, sweetheart.”
Conversation between Gravedigger14 and wife
“I'm taking the children and leaving. Did you hear me?”
“Why do that, love? If people aren't dying these days, how can I earn anything? I'm a poor gravedigger. You act as if everyone were dying like flies, like the streets are impassable with corpses and that I'm reluctant to bury them. I just can't grab people and bury them alive15.”
“There's not a bit of bread in the house.”
“Don't cry, love; now you're making me cry. I'm a sentimental16 person to begin with17. What's happened to people? I can't understand it. No one is dying these days. Are there no vacancies18 left in the next world, or what?
“Don't cry, love, please. You know I get paid by the head; I don't have a monthly wage. You keep prodding19 me to work all the time. After all, I can't dig a grave without reason. I'm no amateur20 gravedigger. If I dig a grave, it has to be used for somebody so they'll pay me for it. A bit more patience. Some day our luck will change for sure21. Don't give up hope, love. Grit your teeth a little...”
Conversation between Policeman and Wife
“Good God, what I've gone through22! Was I to be dragged from pillar to post23? What a rotten24 fate I have.”
“My sweetheart, my only, my love, why are you like this? Show a little understanding. I too, want a promotion25, to have a good position and have my family get along well, of course.”
“Oh, how unlucky I am.”
“I'm the one who was unlucky enough to be born in this barren26 country. If I'd come into the world in some other country where there are no crimes on the streets committed27 by unknown persons, then you would've seen. Then I would've been the commissioner28! By God, I could have long since become even the General Director of Security29. Yet what can I do? I came to this world in a country where such value goes unrecognized. A man can't get promoted by investigating30 small cases31; he can't make a name32 for himself. There must be large, mysterious thefts, crimes, and so on, to fit my caliber33, secrets no one else can solve for me to expose34, so I can win commendations35 and promotion. Don't cry, sweetheart, please. You know I can't stand tears; you'll make me cry, too. Be patient a little longer, my dear. I'm expecting one of those crimes, something big, to fall into my lap36.”
Conversation between Pharmacist37 and Wife
“I don't have a stitch38. I can't go see anyone, I have nothing to wear. How much longer am I going to have to endure this?”
“Sweetheart, don't cry, love. Look, listen to me. At the drugstore39, one can't make any money selling quinine40 and aspirin41. We must sell expensive imported medicines. With rare42 medicines, watch how much money I'll make! Basically, every person is sick, but we need a good doctor to tell them so, to write a prescription43, and send them to us. If people don't get sick, don't go to the doctor, and the doctor doesn't send them to us ... well, you know where this ends up, honey—in a disaster, disaster. Don't cry, sweet one; I have a soft heart. Your crying like that touches me. Soon, our business will get better. Somehow, one day they'll line up44 in front of the drugstore by the dozens, holding prescriptions in their hands. Patience, a little longer, honey. Our luck will change soon, love.”
刽子手和妻子之间的对话
“我活腻味了，我要放弃，我再也无法忍受了。”
“可是亲爱的，最近生意不好难道是我的错吗？我又能够怎么办呢？说到底，我总不能抓来一个人强行把他绞死吧？我是说，只不过法官变得吝啬了。不过，但愿我能尽快找到一份工作。总有一天，情况会好起来。”
“我还能活到那一天吗？去年的情形还没有这么糟糕，至少孩子们还有吃的，可他们现在不能靠去年的回忆活着。”
“求你别哭了，亲爱的，你把我的心都哭碎了。如果可能的话，我愿意夜以继日地绞人。因为没活干，我彻夜难眠，难道我是个懒人吗？”
“做点什么。工作！”
“亲爱的，难道我不想工作吗？可是法庭不下发死刑判决书，我就不能绞死任何人。我挣的是计件工资，不是月薪。我不绞死人，他们就不给我工钱。
“求求你，别哭了，亲爱的。我不是在逃避工作，只要我的家人能过得舒服，我愿意天天都绞人。亲爱的，再忍耐一段时间，咬紧牙关，我们很快就会时来运转的。”
掘墓人与妻子之间的对话
“我要带孩子们走了，你听见没有？”
“为什么要这样，我的心肝宝贝？这些日子不死人，我又怎么能赚钱回来？我可是个可怜的掘墓人啊。你这么做就好像人像苍蝇般死去，街上尸体横卧难以通行，而我却不愿意掩埋似的。我总不能把人抓起来活埋了吧。”
“家里连一片面包都没有啦。”
“不要哭，我的心肝，你把我也惹哭啦，我生来就是个多愁善感的人。人们现在怎么啦？我不明白，为什么这些日子没人死，那个世界是不是没有空位置啦，或许是别的什么原因？
“别哭了，亲爱的，求你啦。你知道我的工作以人头计，没有月薪。你一直在催我去工作，可说到底，我总不能无缘无故地挖墓穴吧。我又不是业余挖墓的。如果我挖了一个墓穴，就一定得给人用，所以他们也得付工钱。再耐心些，终有一天我们肯定会时来运转的。不要放弃希望，亲爱的，再稍稍咬咬牙……”
警察与妻子之间的对话
“仁慈的上帝，我受的什么罪呀！我还要被拖着四处碰壁，走投无路吗？我怎么这么倒霉。”
“亲爱的，我惟一的爱，你怎么这样？给我一些理解吧！我当然也想被提拔，谋个好职位，让家人过上好日子。”
“哦，我多倒霉。”
“我出生在案件这么少的国家才倒霉呢。要是我出生在别的国家，街上的案子没有一件是无名小卒犯的，那时候你再看我，早成局长啦！上帝知道，说不定早就做到安全总署的署长啦。可我又能怎么办？我生长在这样的国家里，这种价值不为人们所认可。调查小案子得不到晋升，也出不了名。一定得有重大而神秘的盗窃案和犯罪等才适合我的口味，破那些没人能破的疑案才能得到表彰和晋升。不要哭啦，我亲爱的，求求你啦，你知道我见不得眼泪，你把我也惹哭了。再耐心一些，亲爱的，我正在等待那些重犯、要犯落在我手里。”
药商与妻子之间的对话
“我连一件衣服也没有，没法见人，我没有穿的，这样的日子还要忍多久？”
“宝贝儿，不要哭，亲爱的。听着，听我说。药店靠卖奎宁和阿司匹林赚不了钱，我们必须卖昂贵的进口药。要是卖罕见的药，你再瞧我那钱赚的！从本质上说，人人都有病，可需要有一个好医生这么对他们说，给他们开处方，把他们送到我们手里。要是人们不生病，不去看医生，医生不让他们来买药……唔，你知道那是什么结果，宝贝儿——灾难，灾难。不要哭啦，宝贝儿，我的心太软，你的哭声让我动情。我们的生意不久就会出现转机。不论怎样，总有一天他们会手拿处方在我们药店前排起长队。再耐心些，宝贝儿。我们很快就会交好运啦，亲爱的。”
1． masterpiece n． 杰作，名著
2． executioner n． 死刑执行人，刽子手
3． be fed up with 厌烦
4． sweetheart n． 情人，爱人
5． grab v． 抢夺，攫取
6． stingy adj． 吝啬的，小气的
7． open up 打开，解开。此处引申为“好转”
8． hand down 宣布
9． death penalty 死刑penalty n． 处罚，罚款
10． piece work 计件工作
11． stretch v． 绞死，吊死
12． grit [grit] v． 摩擦 grit one＇s teeth 咬紧牙关；下定决心
13． break [breik] n． （俚）运气，机会
14． gravedigger n． 挖墓者
15． bury alive 活埋
16． sentimental adj． 感情脆弱的
17． to begin with 首先
18． vacancy n． 空白，空缺
19． prod v． 督促，提醒
20． amateur adj． 业余的
21． for sure 确实
22． go through 经历，经受
23． be dragged／driven from pillar to post 被逼得到处碰壁
24． rotten adj． 腐烂的，恶臭的What a rotten luck／fate I have． 真倒霉！
25． promotion n． 提拔，晋升
26． barren adj． 贫瘠的
27． commit a crime 犯罪
28． commissioner n． 委员，专员
29． general director of security 安全署署长
30． investigate v． 调查
31． case n． 案件
32． make a name 出名
33． caliber n． 才干
34． expose v． 暴露
35． commendation n． 赞扬
36． fall into my lap 落在我手里lap n． 管理范围，控制范围
37． pharmacist n． 配药者，药剂师
38． stitch n． 少许衣服
39． drugstore n． 〈美〉药店，杂货店
40． quinine n． 奎宁
41． aspirin n． 阿斯匹林（解热镇痛药）
42． rare adj． 稀罕的
43． prescription n． 处方，药方
44． line up 整队，排列起