I walked up the back stairs into the veranda1 , which was white in the afternoon sun. I could never persuade myself to enter that house by the front stairs. We were poor relations, taught to respect the house and family.
On the right of the veranda there was the kitchen, tiled2 and clean, fitted with everything anyone could want. An ugly Indian girl with a pockmarked face3 and long breasts was washing some dishes. She wore a dirty red dress. When she saw me she said, “Hello, Romesh.” She had started with a bright voice but ended on a serious tone that was more suitable.
“Hello,” I said softly. “Is she there?” I pointed towards the room that lay straight ahead.
“Yes. Boy, she cries all day. And the baby was so cute4 too.” The servant girl was beginning to imitate5 the language of the house.
“Can I go in now?”
“Yes,”she whispered. Drying her hands on her dress, she led the way. She tiptoed to the door, opened it an inch or two, looked in respectfully and said in a louder voice,“Romesh here, Miss Sheila.”
There was a sigh6 inside. The girl opened the door and shut it behind me. Somebody had drawn the curtains all around. The room was full of hot darkness smelling of ammonia7 and oil. Some light came into the room; it was enough for me to see Sheila clearly. She was dressed in a loose yellow housecoat; she was half-sitting, half-leaning backwards, on a pink sofa. I walked across the polished8 floor as slowly and as silently as I could. I took my eyes off Sheila and looked at the table next to the sofa. I didn't know how to begin. It was Sheila who broke the silence. She looked me up and down in the half-light and said, “My9, Romesh, you are growing up.” She smiled, with tears in her eyes. “How are you? And your mother?” Sheila didn't like my mother. “They're all well—all at home are well,”I said. “And how are you?”
She managed a little laugh. “Still living. Pull up a chair. No, no— not yet. Let me look at you. My, you are getting to be a handsome young man.”
I pulled up a chair and sat down. I sat with my legs wide apart at first. But this struck me as being irreverent10 and too fami- liar. So I put my knees together and let my hands rest loosely on them. I sat upright. Then I looked at Sheila. She smiled.
Then she began to cry. She reached for the damp handkerchief on the table. I got up and asked if she would like something to calm her a little. Sobbing11 heavily, she shook her head, and told me to sit down. I sat still, not knowing what to do.
She wiped her eyes with the handkerchief, pulled out a larger handkerchief from her housecoat, and blew her nose. Then she smiled. “You must forgive me for breaking down like this,” she said. I was going to say “That's all right,” but the words felt too free. So I opened my mouth and made an unintelligible12 noise.
“You never knew my son, Romesh, did you?”
“I only saw him once,”I lied; and instantly regretted the lie: she might ask me where I had seen him or when I had seen him. In fact, I never knew that Sheila's baby was a boy until he died and the news spread. But she wasn't going to examine me. “I have some pictures of him.” She called in a gentle, strained13 voice “Soomintra.” The servant girl opened the door. “Do you want something, Miss Sheila?”
“Yes, Soomin,” Sheila said (and I noticed that she had shortened the girl's name, a thing that was not ordinarily done). “Yes, I want the snapshots14 of Ravi.” At the name she almost burst into tears, but threw her head back at the last moment and smiled.
When Soomintra left the room I looked at the walls. In the half-light I could distinguish15 a painting of the Princes in the Tower16. I was looking at the walls to escape looking at Sheila. But her eyes followed mine and rested on the Princes in the Tower.
“Do you know the story?”
“Yes.”
“Look at them. They're going to be killed, you know. It's only in the past two days that I've really got to understand that picture, you know. The boys. So sad. And look at the dog. Not understanding a thing. Just wanting to get out.”
“It is a sad picture.”
She brushed a tear from her eye and smiled once more. “But tell me, Romesh, how are you getting on with your studies?”
“As usual.”
“Are you going away?”
“If I do well in the exams.”
“But you're sure to do well. After all, your father is no fool.” It seemed selfish of me to continue listening. I said “You needn't talk, if you don't want to.”
Soomintra brought the snapshot album17. It was an expensive album, covered in leather. They had frequently photographed Ravi, from the time when he was first allowed into the open air until the month before his death. There were pictures of him bathing in the sea, digging sand on the east coast, the north coast, and the south coast; pictures of Ravi dressed up for Carnival18, dressed up for tea parties; Ravi on bicycles, Ravi in motor-cars, real ones and toy ones; Ravi in the company of lots of people I didn't know. I turned the pages rather dully. From time to time Sheila leaned forward and commented19,“There's Ravi at the home of that American doctor. A wonderful guy. Ravi looks sweet, doesn't he? And look at this one: that boy always had a smile for the camera. He always knew what we were doing. He was a very clever little boy.”
At last we exhausted20 the snapshots. Sheila had become silent towards the end. I felt that she had been through the album many times in the last two days.
I looked at the clock on the wall and the Princes in the Tower. Sheila came to the rescue. “I am sure you are hungry.”
I shook my head faintly.
“Soomin will fix something for you.”
Soomintra did prepare something for me, and I ate in the kitchen—their food was always good. I got ready for the tears and smiles of saying goodbye. But just then the Doctor came. He was Sheila's husband and everyone knew him as “The Doctor”. He was tall with a pale, handsome face that now looked drawn21 and tired.
“Hello, Romesh.”
“Hello, Doctor.”
“How is she?”
“Not very happy.”
“She'll be all right in a couple of days. It's the shock, you know. And she's a very delicate gift22.”
“I hope she gets over it soon.”
He smiled and patted me on the shoulder. He pulled the blinds23 to shut out the sun from the veranda; and made me sit down.
“Did you know my son?”
“Only slightly.”
“He was a fine child. We wanted—or rather, I wanted— to enter him in the Cow and Gate Baby Contest24. But Sheila didn't care for the idea.”
I could find nothing to say.
“When he was four he used to sing, you know. All sorts of songs. In English and Hindi25. Do you know that song —‘I'll be Seeing You26’?”
I nodded.
“He used to sing that through and through. He had managed to learn all the words. Where from, I don't know, but he had done it. And even now I don't know half the words myself. He was like that. Quick. And do you know that the last words he said to me were ‘I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places27?’ When Sheila heard that he was dead, she looked at me and began to cry. ‘I'll be seeing you,’ she said.”
I didn't look at him.
“It makes you think, doesn't it? It makes you think about life. Here today. Gone tomorrow. It makes you think about life and death, doesn't it? But here I go, philosophizing28 again. Why don't you start giving lessons to children?” he asked me, suddenly. “You could make lots of money that way. I know a boy who's making fifty dollars a month by giving lessons one afternoon a week.”
“I am busy with my exams.”
He paid no attention. “Tell me, have you seen the pictures we took of Ravi last Carnival?”
I hadn't the heart to say “yes”.
“Soomin,” he called, “bring the photograph album.”
1. veranda n．阳台
2． tiled [taild] adj．铺上瓷砖的
3． a pockmarked face 麻脸
4． cute adj．伶俐的，可爱的
5． imitate v．模仿
6． sigh v．叹息
7． ammonia n．阿摩尼亚，氨水
8． polished adj．擦得光光的
9． my 此处作感叹词，表示吃惊等语气
10．irreverent adj．不尊敬的
11．sob v．抽泣
12．unintelligible adj．莫名其妙的
13．strained [straind] adj．勉强的，克制的
14．snapshot n． （快拍的）照片
15．distinguish v． 区别
16．a painting of the Princes in the Tower 这里指的是一幅名画，描绘了英国历史上一桩谋杀案：王子爱德华五世和他的弟弟理查德在伦敦塔内被他们的叔叔理查德三世杀害。
17．album n．相册
18．Carnival n．狂欢节
19．comment n．评论
20．exhaust v． 用完，看完
21．drawn adj．憔悴的
22．very delicate gift 很柔弱的天性
23．blinds [blaindz] n．百叶窗
24．the Cow and Gate Baby Contest 由the Cow and Gate食品公司赞助的漂亮宝贝大赛
25．Hindi n．印地语
26．I＇ll be Seeing You 二次世界大战时期著名的一首英国歌曲
27．I＇ll be seeing you in all the old familiar places 这首歌曲的第一句
28．philosophize v．深深地思考