Shortly after the close of World WarⅠ, I learned an invaluable lesson one night in London. I was manager at the time for Sir Ross Smith. During the war, Sir Ross had been the No. 1 Australian pilot out in Palestine; and shortly after peace was declared, he surprised the world by flying halfway around it in thirty days. No such feat1 had ever been attempted before. It created a great sensation2. The Australian government awarded3 him fifty thousand dollars; the King of England knighted4 him; and, for a while, he was the most talked-about man under the Union Jack5. I was attending a banquet6 one night given in Sir Ross's honor; and during the dinner, the man sitting next to me told a humorous story which hinged on7 the quotation8,“There's a divinity9 that shapes our ends, rough-hews10 them how we will.”
The raconteur11 mentioned that the quotation was from the Bible. He was wrong. I knew that. I knew it certainly. There couldn't be the slightest doubt about it. And so, to get a feeling of importance and display12 my advantage, I appointed13 myself as an unwelcome committee14 of one to correct him. He stuck to his guns15. What? From Shakespeare? Impossible! Absurd16! That quotation was from the Bible. And he knew it.
The storyteller was sitting on my right; and Frank Gammond, an old friend of mine, was seated at my left. Mr. Gammond had devoted17 years to the study of Shakespeare. So the storyteller and I agreed to ask the question to Mr. Gammond. Mr. Gammond listened, kicked me under the table, and then said: “Dale, you are wrong. The gentleman is right. It is from the Bible. ”
On our way home that night, I said to Mr. Gammond: “Frank, you knew that quotation was from Shakespeare.”“Yes, of course,” he replied, “Hamlet, Act Five, Scene Two. But we were guests at a happy time, my dear Dale. Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn't ask for your advice. He didn't want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid18 your sharp angle19.”The man who said that taught me a lesson I'll never forget. I not only had made the storyteller uncomfortable, but had put my friend in an embarrassing20 situation. How much better it would have been had I not become argumentative21.
It was a sorely22 needed lesson because I had been a hard arguer. During my youth, I had argued with my brother about everything under the Milky Way23. When I went to college, I studied logic24 and argumentation and went in for arguing contests25. Talk about being from Missouri26, I was born there. I had to be shown. Later, I taught debating27 and argumentation in New York; and once, I am ashamed28 to admit, I planned to write a book on the subject. Since then, I have listened to, engaged in and watched the effect of thousands of arguments. As a result of all this, I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument—and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes29 and earthquakes.
Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants30 more firmly convinced31 than ever that he is absolutely32 right.
You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph33 over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis34. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior35. You have hurt his pride. He will resent36 your triumph.
一次世界大战结束后不久，一天晚上，我在伦敦学到了极有价值的一课。那时，我是罗斯·史密斯爵士的经纪人。在战时，罗斯爵士是澳大利亚派往巴勒斯坦的头号飞行勇士。在战后不久他以30天的时间飞行了半个地球，因而震惊了全世界。以前人们从未有人完成这种壮举。这产生了极大的轰动。澳大利亚政府奖给他5万美元，英国国王封他为爵士。一时间，只要有英国国旗飘扬的地方，人们谈得最多的就是他。一天晚上，我出席了一个以罗斯爵士名义召开的宴会。席间坐在我旁边的一位客人讲了一个有趣的故事，故事的关键在于一句名言：“是神性形成了我们的目标，并按照我们的意愿将目标斧凿成形。”
那个滔滔不绝的人说这句名言出自圣经。他错了。我知道他错了。我敢肯定他错了。这毫无疑问。因此，为了表明自己不同凡响，并显示我的优势，我把自己装成一个令人讨厌的学术委员会里的学究来纠正他的错误。他却固执己见。什么？这句名言出自莎士比亚？不可能！荒缪透顶！这句名言出自圣经。他应该知道。
那位讲故事的人坐在我的右边，而我的左边坐的是我的一位老朋友，弗兰克·盖蒙德。盖蒙德先生多年致力于莎士比亚的研究。因此，讲故事的人和我都同意，把这个争论交给盖蒙德先生裁决。盖蒙德先生在洗耳恭听的同时，在桌下踢了我一脚，然后发话了：“戴尔，你错了。这位绅士是对的。是出自《圣经》。”
那天晚上当我们回家时，我对盖蒙德先生说：“弗兰克，你明明知道那句名言出自莎士比亚。”
“是的，当然，”他回答说，“出自《哈姆雷特》，第五幕，第二场。但是我亲爱的戴尔，我们只是在一个喜庆的场合做客。为什么要证明一个人是错的呢？这会使他喜欢你么？为什么不让他保全面子呢？他并没有征求你的意见。他不需要这个。为什么要和他争论呢？永远不要锋芒毕露。”说这话的人给我上了一堂我永远不会忘记的课。我不但使讲故事的人不舒服，也使我的朋友陷入了尴尬的境地。如果我不是那么好争辩，那该多好啊！
这一教训对于我尤为必要，因为我是一个顽固的喜欢争论的人。我小的时候，无论天下万物，我都要跟我哥哥争个究竟。在大学里，我学的是逻辑与论证，并投身于辩论比赛。因为出生于密苏里这个偏僻地方，我必须表现自己。后来我就在纽约教辩论和论证课；我还得羞愧地承认，有一次，我甚至想就此写一部专著出来。从那时起，我已聆听过、观摩过、并且亲身参与过数千场辩论。最终我得到的结论是，在苍天之下，要想从辩论中最大限度地获益，方法只有一个——那就是避免争论。要像避开响尾蛇和地震一样避免争辩。
十之八九，争论都使得争辩双方比以前任何时候都更加确信自己是绝对正确的。
你不能赢得争论。你不能，因为如果你辩输了，你就输了；如果你赢了，你照样输。为什么？咳，试想你企图凌驾于他人之上，把他的论点驳得千疮百孔，把他说成神经不正常的人。那又能怎么样？你是感觉良好，但他会怎么想呢？你使他觉得低人一等。你伤害了他的自尊心。你是辩赢了，他却会憎恨你。
1. feat n． 技艺, 功绩, 壮举
2． sensation n． 知觉； 轰动
3． award v． 授予, 判给
4． knight [nait] v． 授以爵位
5． the Union Jack 英国国旗
6． banquet n． 宴会
7． hinge on 靠．．．转动, 以．．．为转移
8． quotation n． 引用语, 价格
9． divinity n． 神, 神学, 神性
10． rough－hew v． 粗凿
11． raconteur n． 健谈者, 善谈者
12． display v． 陈列, 展览, 显示
13． appoint v． 约定, 指定
14． committee n． 委员会
15． stick to one＇s guns v． 固执己见
16． absurd adj． 荒谬的, 可笑的
17． devote v． 投入于, 献身
18． avoid v． 避免, 消除
19． angle n． 角
20． embarrass v． 使困窘, 使局促不安
21． argumentative adj． 好辩的, 争论的
22． sorely adv． 强烈地, 疼痛地
23． the Milky Way 银河
24． logic n． 逻辑, 逻辑学
25． contest n． 争论, 竞赛
26． Missouri n． 密苏里州(美国州名)
27． debate [v． 争论, 辩论
28． ashamed adj． 惭愧的, 羞耻的
29． rattlesnake n． ＜美＞响尾蛇
30． contestant n． 竞争者, 争论者
31． convince v． 使确信, 使信服
32． absolutely adv． 完全地, 绝对地
33． triumph v． 获得胜利
34． compos mentis adj．心神健全的
35． inferior adj． 下等的, 下级的, 差的
36． resent v． 愤恨, 怨恨