You were like movies and popcorn2 , or peanut butter and jelly3 . You were the best of friends... last year. Now you've gone through serious changes, and you just don't mesh4 anymore. It's hard to admit it—let alone act on it—but lately you just want out of5 this friendship.
People change over time, so it's not surprising that many boys & girls find themselves facing their best friends break up at some point in their middle school years.
Unfortunately, you can't wave your magic wand6 and sidestep7 all the awkwardness8 and upset feelings9 that are bound to10 surface, but if you handle the breakup carefully, both you and your best friend are more likely to be okay with it in the end—to feel good about yourselves and each other. Not quite sure how to get from here to there? Hold on tight11 (and keep reading)!
Rule #1
Sleep on it12. Real friends aren't easy to come by13 , so if yours has been with you through good times and bad, think extra hard before you walk away. Remember, no friendship is perfect all the time. Take as much time as you need to think things through. Instead of breaking up with her right off the bat14 , try breaking up your old patterns. If the two of you typically15 hang out16 alone, invite some other girls to join you. Also, consider taking a break from each other for a week or two. Maybe you'll end up missing her and feeling excited about the friendship again.
Rule #2
Be kind. So you definitely want out. Before you do anything else, make a vow17 that you're going to move on without stomping18 all over her feelings. Don't ignore her, “forget” to return her calls, or start picking fights19. And never, ever vent20 about her to your other friends. It'll only make both of you feel terrible if she finds out—and she probably will.
Rule #3
Move on, gently. So how do you end it? Should you come right out21 and say, “I don't want to be your friend anymore?” Probably not. That would make her feel terrible, and it wouldn't do much for you, either. Instead, work on22 putting a little space between you, so you both have room to make other friends. You might say something like: “I'm really glad we've been so close for so long, but I feel like we're both changing, and maybe we don't have so much in common anymore. I want to be able to hang out with other friends more.”Then follow through23. Spend time with other friends, but don't turn your back on her24 completely. Stay friendly, but branch out25 and make other friends, too. Chances are she will too, and the old friendship will slowly fade away.
If your friend is really not ready for things to change, though, there's also a chance she'll start clinging to26 you desperately—or get angry and turn into your enemy. If things get too sticky27, you may need to talk to an adult you trust to sort out the best way to handle the situation.
Rule #4
Look for the middle ground. Maybe you don't have to break off28 the friendship completely—maybe you just need to scale it down29. Sometimes people grow in wildly30 different directions but still like each other. This happened to a boy when he and his best friend entered middle school: “Fitting in31, being cool didn't seem as important to me as they were to him. Different activities during and after school also introduced us each to a new circle of friends. But,” he adds, “it's still fun to see each other on occasion.” Ask yourself if there's room in your life for a casual32 friendship with him. After all, you don't have to stop speaking just because you're no longer finishing each other's sentences33. Maybe you can find a cozy34 space for him, somewhere between BFF35 and Some Boy I Used to Know.
Rule#5
Expect a rough ride36. Don't be surprised if you find yourself missing her a lot... or feeling guilty that you don't. In fact, don't be surprised if you feel all kinds of weird37 emotions. Even if the whole thing was your idea, losing a friend is almost never easy. Keep reminding yourself that this is the right thing to do, and that you've done your best to be fair and kind to both of you. Then, start getting over38 it. Explore your interests. Invite new friends over. Before you know it, you'll be feeling better. As one reader puts it, “At first, I was disappointed that my ‘friend till the end’ and I were going in opposite directions. But I've learned that it's okay. We had a great friendship. I can look back and smile because having a friend till the end taught me a lot about friendship. And who knows? There might be a new friend till the end right around the corner39 .”
你俩总是情同手足，形影不离，粘在一起难舍难分。直到去年你们一直是最要好的朋友。可是现在你们都变得今非昔比，你们再也合不来了。正视这一点很不容易，更不用说采取行动了——但是最近这段时间，你决心要断绝这份友谊了。
随着时光的流逝，人人都会改变，许多男女生在中学阶段会与他们的好朋友分道扬镳，这是丝毫不足为奇的。
遗憾的是，你没法挥动魔杖驱散所有那些迟早会露面的棘手问题和情感上的烦恼。但是如果你小心地处理好分手的事情，那么无论是你自己还是你的朋友最后都会欣然接受分手的结局——你自己会感到愉快，彼此也感到坦然。你不知道怎样才能做到这样吗？别放手（继续往下读）！
第一条原则
把事情往后拖一拖。交个朋友是很不容易的，因此假若你的朋友跟你一起共过患难，要分手之前一定要想了又想。记住：没有任何友谊任何时候都完美无缺。尽可能多花点时间把事情想清楚。真要断交也不要突如其来，而要改变以前的交游方式。如果以前大多是你们俩在一起玩，那么另外邀请几个女孩子跟你们一起玩，同时，不妨考虑彼此分开一两周。也许你会发现自己很舍不得她，因而对于你们的友谊重新充满了兴趣。
第二条原则
待人宽厚。你决定你们的友谊到此为止。在你采取任何行动之前，先发一个誓：你走你的，但决不践踏她的感情。不要不理睬她，不要故意忘记回她的电话，或者找茬吵架。也永远不要对别的朋友说她的坏话来发泄不满。如果她听说了，这只会让你们俩都感到难过——而她十有八九会听说。
第三条原则
悄悄地走开。那么怎么结束友谊呢？是否直截了当地说：“我再也不想跟你做朋友了？”不要这样。那样的话会让她难堪，而且对你也没有什么好处。相反应该这么做：设法在你们之间拉开一点距离，以便你们俩都有机会结交别的朋友。你可以说：“我真的很高兴我们做了这么久的好朋友，但是我觉得我们都在变，也许我们现在共同点没那么多了。我想多跟别的朋友玩玩。”然后就按照自己说的做下去。跟别的朋友一块儿玩，但是不要完全不理她。保持友好，但是扩大圈子，结交别的朋友。很可能她也会这样做，那么过去的友谊就会慢慢淡化掉。
如果你的朋友确实一时难以割舍，接受不了这样的改变，那么很可能她会拼命缠住你不放——甚至大为光火，成了你的敌人。如果事情弄得太糟，让你应付不了，那么，你需要跟一个你信得过的成年人谈谈，找出一个最佳的应对方案。
第四条原则
寻找一个中间地带。也许你不需要彻底断掉这段友情，也许你只需要降低它的重要性。有的时候人们的发展方向大相迳庭，但彼此还是很喜欢。有个男孩跟他的朋友进入中学阶段的时候就经历了这样的改变：“跟大家一起玩以及扮酷这些事情对我来说并不像对他来说那么重要。上学期间以及放学之后的不同活动也让我们进入到不同的朋友圈子里。但是，”他补充道，“不时见见面我们仍然很开心。”问问你自己，你的生活中是否有与他做个普通朋友的余地。不管怎么说，你大可不必因为彼此不再亲密无间而连话也不说了。也许你可以把他放在一个合适的位置，放在“一辈子的好朋友”和“我以前认识的一个男孩”这两种关系之间。
第五条原则
作好出现波折的心理准备。如果你发现你对她难以忘怀，不要惊讶；假如你发现一点也不想她，也不要愧疚。事实上，如果你体验到各种各样的感情，都不要感到吃惊。即使是你打定主意要断交，舍去一个朋友也是一件难过的事情。经常提醒自己你这样做是对的，而且你也尽力做到对她公平，对自己公平。然后，开始慢慢忘掉它。拓展你的兴趣，结交新朋友。很快你就会感觉好多了。正如一位读者所说：“开头，我对于我的‘一辈子的好朋友’和我各奔东西感到很失望。但是我现在已经认识到这没有什么不好。我们曾经拥有那样美好的友谊。当我回顾过去时我会开心地微笑，因为我曾经拥有一个‘一辈子的朋友’，这让我对友谊有了很深刻的认识。谁知道呢？也许不久我就会再结交一位持续一辈子的好朋友。”
1. break up (with sb.)与（某人）绝交
2. movies and popcorn: 美国人到电影院看电影时大多喜欢买一大包爆米花边看边吃，犹如中国人早年看电影时嗑瓜子，这里把两个人的关系比作电影和爆米花，表示时刻相伴相随。
3. peanut butter and jelly: peanut butter是指花生酱；jelly是指果酱。在美国有一种儿童常吃的食物（通常是带到学校吃的午餐）叫做the peanut butter and jelly sandwich(PBJ or PB&J)，亦称peanut butter & jam sandwich。做法是：一片面包上涂花生酱，另一片上涂果酱，然后把两片面对面沾在一起。这里，把两人的关系比作花生酱和果酱，也表示形影不离的意思。
4. mesh v. （机）啮合，比喻合得来
5. want out of 想退出，放弃
6. magic wand 魔杖
7. sidestep v. 躲避（打击）；回避（困难、责任等）
8. awkwardness n. 难应付的事情，棘手的问题
9. upset feelings 心烦意乱的感情，烦恼
10. be bound to 注定，肯定，一定要
11. hold on tight 抓紧，握紧
12. sleep on it 把问题留在第二天解决
13. come by 得到，取得
14. right off the bat （口）断然地，立刻
15. typically adv. 通常，一般
16. hang out （俚语） 玩耍，闲逛
17. make a vow 宣誓
18. stomp v. 践踏，重踏
19. pick fights 寻衅吵架
20. vent sth. (on sb.) 表达，发泄 （情感，尤指愤怒）
21. right out 明白地，坦率地
22. work on 设法做到
23. follow through 将某事进行到底
24. turn your back on sb./sth. 转身背对某人（或某物）
25. branch out (into sth.) 涉足（新工作）；拓展（新业务）
26. cling (to sb.)（尤指情感上）依附，依恋，贴近
27. sticky adj. 不愉快的，痛苦的
28. break off 突然中断某事物
29. scale down 减少（数量）；缩小（规模或范围）
30. wildly [waildli] adv. 极，非常
31. fit in 融入，成为…一员
32. casual adj. 表面的，肤浅的
33. finish each other's sentences 帮对方说完后半句话。非常熟悉的人之间常常一个人话没说完，另一个人已经知道他要说什么，可以接上后半句。这里指两人彼此非常了解，亲密无间。
34. cozy adj. （暖和而）舒适的
35. BFF=Best Friends Forever 一辈子的好朋友
36. a rough ride 本意指在崎岖不平的路上行车，比喻艰难的过程。
37. weird adj. 不寻常的，不同的
38. get over 克服，熬过
39. right around the corner 就在街道的拐角处，表示就在附近。