Bank as Parking Lot 银行用作停车场
A blonde1 walks into a New York City Bank and asks for the loan2 officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says he will need some kind of security3 for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Porsche4 parked out the front of the bank. With the title and paper work all checked out, the bank agrees to accept the car as security for the loan. The loan officer drives the new Porsche into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 she loaned, and $15.40 interest5 . The loan officer comes up to the blonde and says "We here at the bank are very happy that this transaction6 has worked out, but while you were away, I checked you out, and I'm a little puzzled. I found out that you are a multi-millionaire7. What puzzles me is why you would bother to borrow $5,000."
The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for 15 dollars?”
A Trip to Hawaii 眨眼就到夏威夷
The California blonde was thinking of taking a vacation to Hawaii. She wondered how long the flight was, so she called Hawaiian Airlines for some information.
The busy Hawaiian Airline reservation lady1 answered and the blonde said: “Could you tell me how long is the flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu?”
The reservation clerk said: “Just a minute2.”
The blonde said; “Thank you” and hung up.(1. Hawaiian Airline reservation lady 夏威夷航空公司订票女郎 2． 订票员说just a minute是要购票人等一等，她查一查再答复， 可是购票人误以为从洛杉矶到夏威夷只要一分钟。 )
Lawyers' Brain 律师的大脑
A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor1, and it's inoperable2 — in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant3. His doctor gives him a choice of available4 brains — there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for $800 an ounce. The angry lawyer says, “This is a rip-off5 —how come the lawyer brains are so expensive?” The doctor replies, “Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains6?”
Two kinds of “Outstanding” 农夫也想诺贝尔奖
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots1 a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me, Sir, but what are you doing?”
The farmer replies, “I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
“How?”asks the man, puzzled.
“Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are outstanding in their field2.”