Where was I ——In United States. No it’s not a nightmare.
How did I get there?——by the plane. And I actually went willingly to apply for a visa.
Why was I there?—— because I felt like being an idiot and wanted to improve things for myself and only made it worse.
What is the date? ——Don’t know. Don’t care. As long as I’m still alive.
What happened today?——I ask myself the same thing every night.
What happened yesterday? —— I ask myself the same question every morning.
I tend to forget a lot these days. I forget everything that happened in the mornings by evening. And in the mornings I forget everything that happened the day before. It’s not that I’m too old and my brain is not working correctly, but I don’t feel like turning my brain on. What a waste of energy. And that is why I keep my diary.
They say that better to remember the good things that happened to you than the bad. I’d rather lose my memory and find myself back to where I started, than carrying those horrible things and make my life even more miserable.
So what happened today? I’m searching……
6:00 wake up
6:30 go to the bus stop. Bus came a little late.
Oh yeah. I remember now. I had a fight with Mandy. Well, not necessarily a fight because we were never friends. I couldn’t have cared less. Reason for fight: Forgot.
Well we all felt like having a fight so we had one. Isn’t it nice? It’s like going to McDonalds and says you want a strawberry milkshake, and you get one. Same thing.
Actually it’s because she was insulting me the whole time. Well probably she was an insulting person. (Especially with Gitangeli.) And they kept acting in front of me. They both knew they hate each other’s guts out but they wore that disgusting smile on their faces to give the impression this is a peaceful world.
So then one person tells me crap about the other. The other did the same. I was stuck in middle. All I could say was “hehe.haha. well. Anyways. That’s you business. Not mine. ” And in S.S class, they had to sit next to each other, I was across them. And they acted as if they were the best and sweetest sisters on the planet. I felt like laughing.
Well, life is drama. I have to admit, I like neither of them. Gitangeli is simply just too…evil. And cares too much about her grades. Who ever gets in the way, off go their heads.
Mandy…we know each other too well, too well to get along without any arguments. Although I know arguing with her in English is no good for me. With that pair of smart lips of hers, she can almost speak the dead man alive. I guess she takes me too unseriously and thought I am just any toy to play with and then toss aside when I don’t have my use anymore. Sometimes I just can’t understand her attitude. She does not speak to her friends (although she claims she has none) Emma and those people the same way she speaks to me. It’s like a completely different tone, almost like an innocent little girl.
Yesterday was the southeast open house. We went together. I was just skipping along because I was too energetic and wanted to burn some calories. She told me to stop skipping because that gets on her nerves. I said I can do what I want and at least I’m not too fat to jump. Then she said at least she isn’t as childish as I am. I totally felt like swearing, childish? Sure. When she thinks the Japanese killed Chinese to reduce the population and that is actually helping Chinese. I thought the same way when I was in Sweden, which is 3 years ago.
Then we were in the southeast high school building. I said this place reminds me of the hospital. She said your face reminds me of a hospital. I said that is very mean. She said I don’t care. Yeah, she never cares about anything or anyone except her iPod and manga and fan fiction web. But I seemed to be the only person she’s wrecking every sense of anger on. I don’t see her saying this to Emma whatsoever, I don’t think she dares. Yes I am just too soft like a tomato that every person can squeeze or step on.
We are just too damn close. I really need a break.
And a gasp of air.
What if I was in China instead? It seems the most perfect country to me. Hell to the western media.
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