remembering that i`ll be dead soon is the most important tool i`ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. remembering that you are going to die is the best way i know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. you are already naked. there is no reason not to follow your heart.
about a year ago i was diagnosed with cancer. i had a scan at 7∶30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. i didn`t even know what a pancreas was. the doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that i should expect to live no longer than three to six months. my doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor`s code for prepare to die. it means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you`d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. it means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. it means to say your goodbyes.
i lived with that diagnosis all day. later that evening i had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. i was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. i had the surgery and i`m fine now.